Had a moment of clarity today, [oh welcome back Papa! btw] it helped me. Since I last wrote my blog many interesting people have come and gone in my life, new developments at home and in my work have become all encompassing. New horizons beckon, finally I can see the end in putting a damaging part of my history behind me, I have all but removed pretentious and pointless people from my social group and am actually sleeping more than 3 hours a night. Nonetheless, I still felt that there was very little I was in control of. So after a "cause and affect" moment at the end of last month, where I narrowly dodged a bullet, I have found what it is lighting me up inside and what I can do well, better than my contemporaries. Better than the competition. if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don't do it. if you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. if you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. if you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it. if it's hard work just thinking about doing it, don't do it. if you're trying to write like somebody else, forget about it. if you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. if it never does roar out of you, do something else. if you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all, you're not ready. don't be like so many writers, don't be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don't be dull and boring and pretentious, don't be consumed with self- love. the libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. don't add to that. don't do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was.
Now lets see how many people delete me from social media networks……..