sing hallelujah come on get happy…


Had a moment of clarity today, [oh welcome back Papa! btw] it helped me. 
Since I last wrote my blog many interesting people have come and gone in my life, new developments at home and in my work have become all encompassing. 

New horizons beckon, finally I can see the end in putting a damaging part of my history behind me, I have all but removed pretentious and pointless people from my social group and am actually sleeping more than 3 hours a night. Nonetheless, I still felt that there was very little I was in control of. So after a "cause and affect" moment at the end of last month, where I narrowly dodged a bullet, I have found what it is lighting me up inside and what I can do well, better than my contemporaries. Better than the competition.

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.

don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

C. Bukowski

Now lets see how many people delete me from social media networks……..